Well so it has been a little over a month since i was laid off from work. I have fallen into a depressive slump, I consider myself a fairly social person and it is very hard for me to be home alone all day with no one to talk to. Today was particularly bad. I ended up sleeping most of the day to pass the time after I tried to watch day time television (which irritated me no end). I am also 7 days away from the start of my third trimester of pregnancy. This is the time that I have been fearing since the start of the pregnancy. This is the time that I have to come off all of my psychiatric medications. I am starting to come off my SSNRI (selective seratonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) which is an antidepressant and also works to control my OCD and the pseudoseizures (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures). I am on the first step of coming of the medication and already my depression is worse and my intrusive thoughts are getting worse. I spent almost all day in bed. The worst possible place for me to get stuck.
I don't have many friends in the area where I live and my closest family member is down in Boston. I am struggling to get out of the house everyday and today was not successful.
Once I come off this SSNRI, the next thing to come off will be a benzodiazepine that I have been on for the past 4 years. The "benzo" is used to help me sleep and to control my panic and anxiety attacks. Coming off that is going to be a nightmare.
After the benzodiazepine my sleep aid will be next. It is a serotonin 2 antagonist/reuptake inhibitor.
I know all of this is for the benefit of my baby girl. But that doesn't mean it is going to be pleasant.
I thought that I had more to share but I guess not.
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