like frustrations outside of the unit there are frustrations inside of treatment. it is very challenging. there are alot of ackward social interactions that take place here. there are alot of people in this place that don't know how to keep the proper distance from other people. there are people that are actually stealing from other people because their OCD makes them so obsessed with having something that someone else has that it seems to take over them. I am now finding myself more leery of people than when i came in and i don't like where it is taking me.
my temper is getting shorter and shorter and i think that it must be a function of the ocd getting more and more starved with the lack of rituals that i am doing. i have been starving that little bastard and not letting it live my life instead of me. I won't tolerate this anymore.
there comes a point where now i am looking at the gains i have made, and how far i have come. and the times that i had lost and now i REFUSE absolutely refuse to live that life over again.
I am saddened though that i wasn't able to see the damage and the loss
all the pain to myself and the people around me.
i am now seeing how much life i can and will have. and i have gained something i haven't had before. hope and i am looking forward to what life has to give to me and what i can take from it. I am alittle scared admittedly to go into this new life, i am not quite sure what to do with it.
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